


Too long without you

by Mercury_Writer



Series: Hurt Jake Peralta [3]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, Established Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, F/M, Hurt, Hurt Jake Peralta, Undercover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25094380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercury_Writer/pseuds/Mercury_Writer
Summary: Jake has to go undercover for one year. Amy struggles without him. About eight months into his undercover assignment Amy goes out for drinks and ends up getting drunk. She takes someone back to the apartment, not knowing that Jake's undercover mission has been cut short.
Relationships: Amy Santiago/Original Male Character(s), Charles Boyle & Jake Peralta, Gina Linetti & Jake Peralta, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Series: Hurt Jake Peralta [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783708
Comments: 30
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter One

When Jake got the news he had to go undercover for a year be could barely process it. How would he cope being away from Amy and all his friends at the 99 for one whole year? He’d miss them so much. The goodbyes were emotional, with even Rosa being close to tears. The only thing that got him through it was the thought of being able to go home to his beautiful girlfriend Amy and see all his friends again. 

Amy broke down the first night she had to spend in their apartment alone. It didn’t feel like their home without Jake being there. It felt wrong being without him there. For the first few weeks she spent the night on the couch as she couldn’t bare sleeping in their bed with out Jake being there. She was struggling to cope without him. 

As time passed it got easier not seeing Jake every day. She still missed him hugely though, missed his goofy and adorable smile, his rambles about die-hard, his jokes, even his annoying pranks. She missed being able to talk to him after a hard day, missed him comforting her. She missed every part of him. 

About 8 months into the gruelling mission she decided to go to Shaw’s bar for a drink one night. She was lonely without Jake and bored so she thought going out for drinks with Kylie would help. It did for a while, but eventually Kylie had to head home after a couple of drinks so she was left alone. She was going to head home herself when a guy named Mark approached her and offered to buy her a drink. Amy shrugged and accepted; company would be nice she reasoned in her head. 

After a couple more drinks Amy decided to head home. Mark offered to walk her home and she accepted. When she got to the apartment Mark kissed her, she kissed back. She knew it was wrong because she was with Jake, but she felt so lonely. Amy fumbled for the key to her apartment and unlocked the door, leading Mark into her and Jake’s bedroom. 

Jake couldn’t believe it when he got the call from the leading officer on the case. He could finally go home after 8 long, almost unbearable months. He couldn’t wait to just go home and see Amy, sleep in his own bed cuddled up to his girlfriend. 

Jake got back to their apartment as quick as he could. When he unlocked the door he didn’t see any sign of Amy so went through to the bedroom, figuring she would be in bed. 

What he did not expect to see was Amy in bed having sex with another man, in their bed. Jake stood their stunned for a few seconds before Amy noticed him. 

“Jake, you’re back.” She said, surprise and shock clear in her tone. 

“Yeah, and I wish I wasn’t.” Jake huffed out quickly leaving the room to go to the living room. He wanted to leave more than anything but knew he and Amy needed to talk. Mark left within two minutes of Jake getting there, apologising to Jake as he left, saying he didn’t realise Amy had a boyfriend. Jake just yelled at him to get out. 

“Jake I am so sorry.” Amy said on the verge of tears. 

“Sorry for what Ames? Cheating on me or getting caught cheating?” Jake shouted, beyond hurt. One of the only things that got him through all that time undercover was the knowledge that he could go back home to Amy after it.

“For cheating on you.” Whispered Amy. She looked down in shame, not meeting Jake’s eye. 

“Why did you do it Ames? Why would you do that to me?” Jake asked dejectedly as tears began to fall. 

“I-I went out for a drinks with Kylie. When she left he offered to buy me a drink then he walked me home. It wasn’t like I planned this, he kissed me and I felt so lonely. It’s been 8 fucking months Jake. I was so lonely, I didn’t want to hurt you.” Amy confessed as she sat down next to Jake. 

“Do you not think it was lonely for me to? I never once cheated on you, I never even though about it because I love you Ames. No matter how lonely I felt I never even considered having sex with anyone because you were all I could think about.” Shouted Jake, he was beyond hurt by Amy’s actions. 

“I love you too Jake. I love you so much and I’m so sorry. It was a mistake, I’d never do anything like that.” Amy cried. 

“How do you expect me to believe that though Ames? You know how hard it is for me to trust partners after how my dad treat people he was with and you’ve gone and done exactly what he used to do in every relationship.” Sighed Jake.  
“I don’t know if I can trust you Ames.” 

“You can Jake. I swear to you this will never happen again. I love you and I can’t lose you, you’ve only just come back. I missed you so much.” Amy sobbed. 

“Yeah well it didn’t look like you missed me. You know that coming home to you was one of the only things that kept me going, the though of being able to be with you again. I was so excited to be coming home early so I could see you after 8 of the worst months of my life. I wish I hadn’t even bothered coming home, it would have been better for both of us if I had spent the full time undercover.”

“Jake this wasn’t easy for me either. I was separated from you as well. I had to live in out home without you, knowing I had to go into work without you and go home without you. It was so lonely. I know I messed up, but I can’t change that. I just needed someone and he was there when you weren’t.” Explained Amy she hoped that Jake would understand this from her point of view. 

“What so it’s my fault now because I wasn’t there? I didn’t asked to be assigned on this fucking case. I didn’t chose to go undercover. And I know it can’t have been easy, but at least you had the 99, at least you could talk to your family. I had no-one I could talk to or even see, so don’t you dare say you were lonely, when you had so many people you had around to talk to and to see when I had no-one.” Yelled Jake.  
“I can’t do this Ames I’m done, tonight was supposed to be happy for us. It was the first night in months we’d be together and I come home to find you cheating on me.” Jake said sadly as he got up to leave. 

“Please don’t go Jake, I’ve only just got you back. You can’t throw what we have away because of a stupid mistake that meant nothing.”

“I’m not the one throwing us away. You did that as soon as you kissed him.” With that Jake left their apartment and Amy broke down, just as she did 8 months ago when Jake left for the first time.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake goes to talk to Gina

After Jake left the apartment his head was swimming, ‘how could Amy do this, did she even miss me, would she have even told me if I hadn’t got back early, do I mean anything to her?’ Jake couldn’t understand why Amy would cheat and betray him like that. He understood the loneliness better than anyone, after all he was cut off from everyone he cared about, but never once did he even think about being with someone else because he knew he had Amy to go back to after it all. Had, because he’s pretty sure he’s lost her. 

He wondered for a while before deciding to head to Gina’s. He needed someone to talk to and he knew he could always talk to Gina, his best friend since childhood. He didn’t know if she would answer seeing as it was late, but still knocked on her door, hoping she would answer. 

Jake could hear her muttering behind the door that it was late and it better be important. 

“OMG Jake, what are you doing here?” Gina exclaimed in shock as she didn’t think Jake was supposed to be back for a few more months. 

“Surprise.” Jake said flatly, trying but failing to sound excited.

“Come on in boo. What are you doing here, I though you were still undercover?”

“Yeah, they called me said I could come home early.” Jake stated plainly as he sat down. 

“So why you here boo and not with Amy?” Gina questioned, sensing something must be off. Gina knew that Amy would be the first person Jake would go to, no matter how close they were she knew that Jake would miss Amy the most because he loved her. 

“She cheated on me Gina. I got back to the apartment and she was in bed with someone else.” Jake said, desperately trying to keep himself together.

“The bitch. How could she do this to you boo?” Gina snapped, not at Jake all the anger directed at Amy. She couldn’t understand how Amy could do that. 

“She said she was lonely, he was there when I wasn’t as if I had any fucking choice to go undercover, as if I wanted to leave her. I mean I understand it was lonely for her, but for fuck sake Gina she had you guys at the 99, Kylie, her family and who did I have- no-one- that’s who. I had to pretend to be someone I wasn’t and have no contact with anyone, yet I never, ever considered anyone else because I loved Amy and I thought she loved me enough to do the same but clearly I meant nothing to her.” Jake ranted beginning to cry as he reached the end of his rant.   
“And she knows how hard I find it to trust people in a relationship after the example my dad set for how relationships work, all he did was cheat now she’s gone and done the same, even if we do try and figure things out how can I trust her again?” Jake sighed dejectedly, at this moment in time he saw no future for he and Amy even though it killed to admit it because he loved her so much. 

“I don’t know boo. It’s up to you if you want to try again, and who knows whether you can trust her again? If you don’t think you can then is there any point in trying again? You can’t be with her if you can’t trust her.” Explained Gina. She wrapped her arm around Jake’s shoulder and pulled him close in support and comfort. 

“How could she do this?” Jake sobbed. 

“I don’t know Jakey.” Gina responded. It was all she could say. She couldn’t understand why Amy had done this. She knew- well thought- Amy cared about and loved Jake enough to not cheat, but she supposes she was wrong, which was rare because Gina Linetti was never wrong. 

She held Jake as he sobbed, as he broke down in front of her all because of Amy. Gina can only think of a couple of other occasions that she had seen Jake this broken and hurt, it killed her to see him like this, someone normally so happy and full of joy just fall apart. 

Needless to say Jake stayed with Gina over the weekend. He went to the apartment to pick up some clothes, thankfully Amy was out because Jake isn’t ready to talk to her yet, which will be difficult as he is expected back at the precinct on Monday to inform the Captain of how the undercover operation went, and he has to sit opposite her every day, work cases with her; it’s going to be impossible. Jake hopes that Holt will take pity on him after being away for months and let him switch desks, after all there was always a desk opposite Rosa or Charles he could move to. Jake supposed he could always lie and say that he wanted to spend more time with Boyle due to all the time he spent undercover, and say that he gets to spend time after work with Amy, at least he was supposed to. He could always tell the truth, but he can’t face the squad knowing yet and he still sure whether or not there is a chance for him and Amy, whether or not he can forgive her. He doesn’t want to say they’ve broken up if there is even a slight chance they can fix things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should only be four chapters. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading xxx


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake returns to work

When Monday rolled around Gina didn’t let Amy anywhere near Jake and she didn’t leave Jake’s side as they entered the precinct until Jake had his meeting with Holt and the people involved with the undercover operation. 

When they left Holt asked to speak with Jake before he went to speak to the squad. 

“It is good to have you back Peralta. Your absence has been noticed by us all.” Holt said in his usual stoic manner. 

“It’s good to be back sir.” Jake said with a small smile. It was good to be back because he can see the squad again and get back to the job he loved, but nightmarish because he has to see Amy every day, the same person who broke his heart only two days ago. 

“I trust you rested well over the weekend. It must have been pleasant for you to be home early. I’m sure Santiago was delighted to have you home so soon, I know she missed you terribly” Jake looked down at the mention of Amy, tears threatening to fall. 

“Yeah, I thought she would have missed me.” Scoffed Jake, the bitterness in his tone unmistakeable. 

“Is something the matter Jacob?” Holt questioned, noticing the bitter edge to Jake’s words and finding the wording of Jake’s response strange. 

“Everything’s fine Cap-i-tan.” Jake said, faking a smile. 

“If you are sure Jacob.” Holt said, knowing that Jake wouldn’t not open up to him.   
“If there is anything that you require let me know so I can make the transition back to normality as easy as possible.” He offered. 

Jake pondered for a second, unsure whether or not to ask Holt about switching desks before quickly concluding that he couldn’t remain partners with Amy, he hadn't even spoke to her today, just looking at her made is heart break. 

“There is one thing. Is there any way I can switch desks either opposite Boyle or Rosa and partner with them?” Jake asked tentatively. 

“If you really want to.” Holt said confusedly, not that he actually showed that. “Are you sure that there is nothing going on Peralta?” Holt questioned again concerned for him.

“I just thought that I haven’t seen either in a while and I’ll see Amy at home as well as work, that way I can spend a lot of time with both.” Jake lied, he hoped Holt would believe him because he didn’t want to tell him what actually happened, as if he hadn’t already figured there was something going on with him and Amy. Jake knows eventually the whole squad will find out, after all they are all highly skilled detectives and it will be noticeable that something had happened. 

“Okay, you are dismissed Peralta. I will allow you two minutes to reconnect with the squad.” Holt said looking pointedly at his watch as Jake left his office. 

“Jake Peralta back in the 99.” Boyle exclaimed excitedly as Jake entered the bullpen. He engulfed Jake into a hug. “I missed you buddy.” Charles said, definitely not in tears at having Jake back. 

“I missed you too Charles.” Jake replied sincerely. He truly misses his best friend, not being able to partner with him, not being able to talk to him or go out with him on what ever weird activity Charles had planned, like best friend pottery sessions, wherever Charles managed to find that. 

“Good to have you back man.” Rosa stated as she punched Jake’s shoulder lightly, the closest she would get to hugging him.

“I missed you, my big dumb work baby.” Terry smiled clapping Jake on the shoulder. 

Whilst Jake reconnected with the squad and they filled Jake in on what he had missed Gina stayed right by his side, whilst Amy hung back, staying away from Jake as she knew he wouldn’t want to see her. 

“Well that’s my two minutes up, better get working.” Jake said, knowing Holt would come and reprimand the squad for pointless chatter when they can catch up after work at Jake’s welcome back party at Shaw’s that Boyle accidently spoiled very quickly in the excitement of seeing Jake. 

Instead of sitting straight down at his desk as everyone expected, Jake began to gather up his belongings. Gina, unnoticed by anyone, smirked with satisfaction that Jake was allowed to move to sit elsewhere because it meant that Amy couldn’t try and worm her way back into a relationship with Jake. 

“Jake, what are you doing?” Amy asked incredulously, sounding hurt. 

“I’m moving to sit opposite Boyle, and we’ll be partnered on cases now instead of us. It will be easier this way.” Jake stated blankly, not even sparing a glance at Amy- mainly because it hurt. 

“Can’t we just talk about this?” Amy asked as tears ushered in her eyes. 

“I have nothing left to say to you Amy. You cheated on me and we’re done. I don’t think I can trust you again after what you’ve done. And I can’t bare to work with you. It hurts to much to be around you. I love you so much Amy but you broke my heart.” Jake whispered as he boxed up the rest of his things. He thought that maybe there would be a way back for them but seeing her just hurt him too much and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to forgive or trust her again no matter how hard he tried. 

“I love you too Jake.” Amy said back, desperately trying to hold back her tears. 

“Clearly not enough.” Jake responded. With that he walked over to Boyle’s desk. Amy got up a couple of minutes after and excused to the toilet where she sobbed, knowing no-one would hear her where it finally sunk in that she’d lost Jake for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be 4 chapters, but will be longer (idk how much longer though).
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading xxx


	4. Chapter four

“Jakey, what you doing? Why aren’t you at your desk?” Questioned Charles. 

“I’m moving to your desk, that way I get to spend time with my best buddy at work.” Jake said with false cheeriness.

“But why aren’t you sitting with Amy?” Asked Boyle, still confused as to why Jake had suddenly moved to sit with him- he thought Jake would have wanted to spend all his time with Amy, not that he wasn’t happy sitting with Jake all day.

“I thought it would be nice to sit with you, I’ve missed you.” Jake said. 

“Oh okay.” Charles said seemingly unconvinced by Jake’s answer. 

The day passed by fairly quickly, Jake avoided Amy as much as he could and when they had to interact there was a noticeable tension between the two. Something must have happened. They all thought it was odd that Jake moved desk, his explanation, whilst making sense was not accepted by anyone. They were both a mess when Jake had to go undercover and Amy barely coped with Jake away so there was no chance that she would agree to it. Holt kept glancing over to the pair of them and noticed a palpable sadness radiating off the pair as well as an air of anger coming off Jake. As well as this they’d noticed that Gina kept glaring at Amy when ever she looked up from her phone and she was checking in with Jake often throughout the day- often discarding her phone to go speak to him. No-one asked Jake or Amy what was going on, Boyle had tried, as had Holt in the morning, but both were quickly brushed off by Jake and Amy tried to avoid conversation as much as possible. Despite everything that had gone on with Amy it was good to be back in work for Jake, he’d missed everyone a lot- after all they were like his family- and he missed being able to be himself and not having to pretend to be someone else for moths, though he still didn’t feel fully back to himself with everything that had happened. 

The surprise party- well what should have been a surprise party had Boyle not ruined the surprise- was a welcome distraction for Jake. He was going to use it as a way to get drunk and temporarily forget his problems. Amy stayed about an hour late at the precinct that night, claiming she had to finish paperwork on an important case, really all she was doing was building up the courage to speak to Jake; she had to get him back, she couldn’t lose him again. 

A few minutes after she got there she approached Jake and asked to speak to him privately. Gina barked at her to leave Jake ‘the hell alone’ and called her a ‘cheating bitch’. Jake chastised Gina and agreed to speak to Amy, although this was not the ideal setting they did need to talk. They went outside of the bar to speak with it being the only quiet place. 

“What do you want Amy?” Jake asked curtly. Over the weekend Jake had hoped that he could forgive Amy but upon seeing her all he could think about was her with that man and it hurt too much to be around her. He realised that there was no way back for them because he knew that he would never be able to trust her again. He knew this as soon as he left their apartment that night, but he just didn’t want to admit that it was over. 

“I’m sorry Jake, I really am. I know that doesn’t make up for what I did but I am so, so sorry, and I promise you I would never, ever do that again. It was a mistake you have to trust me. I never wanted to hurt you-“ Amy began before Jake cut her off.

“Never wanted to hurt me?” Jake snapped incredulously. “If you didn’t want to hurt me then you should never have slept with someone else, if you really loved me you would have cheated on me. I mean for fuck sake Amy, you know how hard I find it to trust people in relationships after how my dad was. His behaviour gave me so many trust issues and you went and did what he did. How the fuck do you expect me to trust you again?”

“I don’t know.” Responded Amy, her voice small. 

“I think we both know where this leaves us.” Jake said sadly. “I love you so much Ames but if I can’t trust you then what kind of relationship is that?” Jake gave Amy no time to answer, he turned around and walked back into the bar leaving Amy alone outside. She couldn’t face going in there and pretending to be happy so she decided to head home. Despite being apart from Jake for months she had never felt as alone as she did that night, knowing she had truly lost Jake for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about how bad updates on this fic are. I'll try to get the next chapter done quicker.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading xxx


	5. Chapter five

Jake didn’t stay much longer after going back into the bar, he didn’t really feel like celebrating being back. He though of nothing else when he was away but now he’s wishing he were still undercover so he wouldn’t know what Amy had done- so he could have got back when he should have and lived in blissful ignorance. He would have been happier in the long run. He claimed he was tired as he’d had a busy few days, the squad didn’t believe him but didn’t say otherwise. Gina left with Jake, the two going to his and Amy’s apartment, well what was there’s to pick up Jake’s things so he could move in with Gina- who insisted on going in with Jake so they could get out as soon as possible. 

“Jake what are you doing here?” Amy exclaimed, a hint of hopefulness in her voice upon seeing Jake. 

“I’m here to pick up my stuff, I’m moving in with Gina.” Jake said solemnly. Amy simply nodded, Jake had made it clear how he felt just hours before and who was she to argue, she’d caused this? 

Jake walked through to what was his and Amy’s room- Gina was about to follow suit before Amy stopped her. 

“Is he okay?” Amy asked with genuine concern.

“What do you think Amy? You cheated on him. You betrayed him in one of the worst ways, you know everything that happened with his mom and dad and how hard he finds it to trust people in relationships and you go and cheat on him- of course he’s not okay. He’s far from it.” Snarled Gina; whilst Jake was upset about the situation Gina was angry, Jake was like a brother to him and had been since they were kids and the person Jake loved had hurt him so much, there was no way she would forgive Amy even if Jake did in time- although it did not look likely that he would. 

“I’m so sorry Gina, I never meant to hurt him.” Responded Amy.

“That doesn’t matter whether or not you meant to, you have hurt him.” With that Gina walked away to help Jake. Wordlessly they packed up Jake’s things and left, leaving both Amy and Jake feeling more alone than before. 

“Are you okay boo?” Gina asked, breaking the silence of their drive to Gina’s apartment. 

“I will be” he said sadly. When they got back they packed away Jake’s things and he went straight to bed, he stared at the ceiling for hours before drifting into a dreamless sleep. 

“Whoa Jake, you’re here on time. What is going on?” Serg exclaimed cheerily, a complete contrast to how Jake was feeling. 

“It’s a whole new me Serg” Jake said with false cheeriness, ‘a lot’s changed’ Jake thought bitterly. 

As the day went on Jake noticed Amy kept looking over at him, as well as the squad looking between Amy and him as if beginning to piece together that something had happened, with Jake moving desk, neither of them speaking to each other and Amy not going to Amy’s party, something must have happened. What they couldn’t figure out was why, or what as Jake had only just got back. 

Rosa cornered Amy later in the day when Amy was alone in the break room- she cared about both Jake and Amy so wanted to know what was going on. 

“What’s happing with you and Jake?” Asked Rosa bluntly. 

“Nothing’s going on.” Amy sighed; well it wasn’t a complete lie seeing as nothing was happening in their relationship as they were broken up.

“Bull shit. I saw you when Jake wasn’t here, all emotional and I know Jake will have missed you just as much. What happened?” Rosa said forcefully, she really was intimidating. 

“Jake ended things just as he got back, something happened and, it’s over.” Amy answered, knowing that Rosa wouldn’t give up and it would be far easier to just tell Rosa the truth, or at least part of it. 

“What?!” Rosa exclaimed in surprise; she couldn’t understand why Jake would end things especially seeing as he’d just got back from being undercover, surely that was the last thing he would do. “What happened, did he meet someone undercover is that it?” Questioned Rosa, jumping to the completely wrong conclusion, she knew they wouldn't have had an argument because Jake had only just got back and they'd missed each other too much to spend their first bit of time together in months arguing, Rosa figured that Amy wouldn't have cheated because she saw just how bad she was whilst Jake was away, that didn't leave many options. 

“What no, or course not.” Amy rushed out, ‘the opposite actually’ Amy thought ashamed. “It’s not what you think okay, just leave it please” Amy said, almost pleading with Rosa not to push any further; Amy didn’t want people to know what she did, she was ashamed and didn’t want the people closest to her to hate her or think differently of her because of a mistake she made, albeit a big mistake. 

“So you’re not gonna tell me why you broke up?” Asked Rosa. Amy shook her head with tears in her eyes.   
“Okay, I guess I’ll ask Peralta.” Rosa said simply and quickly got up. 

“Hey Jake, why did you break up with Amy?” Rosa asked as she strode up to Jake’s desk. Jake stared dumbfounded at Rosa then Amy, confused as to why Rosa knew and why Amy had said.

“What, you broke up with Amy?” Boyle asked, looking confused. This got the attention of the rest of the squad as Charles didn’t exactly speak quietly, although he can’t be blamed as it is a shock to hear. 

“Yeah I did.” Jake spoke quietly. “What exactly did you tell Rosa then Amy?” He asked.

“Well Rosa asked what was going on between us and I said nothing at first, but Rosa’s scary so I told her that you broke up with me, that’s it. I’m sorry.” Explained Amy, apologising for what seemed to be the 100th time in only a few days. 

“So what did you meet someone else undercover, cheat on Amy is that it?” Rosa asked, having no clue how wrong she had got things. 

Jake scoffed. “Oh is that what Santiago has told you? That I cheated?” Jake said incredulously, a look of disbelief on his face. 

“I swear Jake I didn’t.” Amy said, hoping Jake would believe her. 

“So, did you?” Terry was the one who spoke this time. 

“Why don’t you ask Amy, she’d know all about cheating on the person you’re supposed to love.” Jake said before getting up and leaving. The squad stared in shock at Amy as they realised that Amy must have cheated on Jake whilst he was undercover…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back. Sorry for being useless at updating, lost motivation to write, lost the will to live, but I finally updated. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading and y'alls are okay xxx


	6. Chapter six

A stunned silence took over the bullpen of the precinct after Jake stormed out with Gina quickly following suit to talk to Jake and comfort him. 

“You cheated on Jake?!” Terry yelled rather incredulously. It was a shock to all of them the revelation that Amy had cheated on Jake. They had seen just how much Jake leaving had affected her, they never thought she would cheat. Amy nodded, tears threatened to fall as she looked down to the floor in shame of what she had done. 

“How could you do that to him Amy? I thought you missed him, how could you do such a thing?” It was Charles that asked him, knowing just how much this would be affecting Jake. He knew very well how much the actions of Jake’s father had affected Jake so knew just how much this would hurt him. 

“It was a mistake, a terrible, life-wrecking mistake.” Amy answered honestly, her voice small.   
“I went out for drinks with Kylie one night because I wanted company because I felt lonely. She left after a while when this guy came up to me and offered me a drink. I only accepted because I wanted company. We got drunk and I bought him back to mine and Jake’s apartment and Jake got back when he was there. He-he walked in on us. But I never intended for it to happen, we got drunk and I was lonely.” Explained Amy not daring to look up at her co-workers. 

“Do you not think Jake was lonely? At least you had us, your family, Kylie- Jake had no-one he was all alone and yet you were the one who cheated. I get it was hard Jake not being here and it must have been lonely, but that is no excuse.” Rosa snapped. She’d known Jake since she was in the Academy, he was one of the people she was closest to and she cared about him a lot- not that she would ever admit that to him- she couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing from Amy. 

“I know that. I regret that night more than anything and I wish I could take it back. I am so, so sorry for hurting Jake.” Amy cried. 

“It’s not us you should be saying sorry to.” Charles said. 

“I know that, do you not think I haven’t tried to apologise because I have, believe me, he just said it was over.” Amy stated as she cried softly. 

“Can you blame him for ending things with you? Anyone would in that situation. I get how shit it must have been for you Amy, we all saw how upset you were that Jake was gone so we know it must have been lonely, but you should never have cheated- especially knowing about what Jake’s dad was like and how much that affected him!” Snapped Rosa, showing no sympathy for Amy. 

“Yeah, Rosa’s right.” Terry added.   
“Terry’s been cheated on, so I know how it feels to be in Jake’s position. Terry knows that pain.” He added before muttering something in Japanese (I don’t know any Japanese and I don’t trust Google translate). 

“I can’t believe you’ve done this to him Santiago.” Rosa snarled at Amy before going to her desk to work, the rest of the squad following suit, occasionally glaring at Amy throughout the rest of the day. None of them spoke to her, the tense atmosphere noticeable to anyone not in the inner-circle that was in the bull-pen. Amy had no clue if any of them would forgive her for hurting Jake, and she’s doesn’t blame them if they don’t. 

No-one saw Jake or Gina for the rest of the day, when Holt asked where they were they just fobbed him off, saying there was some emergency they had to deal with. Holt didn’t question, although he could tell something had happened. From his office he observed the looks Santiago was receiving from the squad, how uncomfortable- almost ashamed- she looked, how she looked almost broken. He knew from the day Jake got back something must have happened between Jake and Amy, and this was the conformation he needed that they must have broken up. Jake moving desks, the two not speaking, Amy not being at the party, now the squad was obviously angry with Amy and Jake was no where to be seen- so Holt had correctly jumped to the conclusion that his two best detectives are no longer together- what happened he cannot be 100% certain, although he has a very good idea. 

Santiago my office.” Holt commanded and Amy followed dutifully, not daring to look up at any of her co-workers. She walked slowly behind Holt, feelings of dread clawing at her with each step she took. 

“I normally would not speak of personal matters at work; however it seems I may need to break this rule.” Holt said plainly.   
“From what I have observed, from the absence of Jake and the attitude of the squad towards you today something happened between you and Peralta. I am not just concerned for the lack of work getting done today, but for you Santiago and Peralta. Is there something you would like to tell me? About you and Jacob perhaps?” Holt asked, his voice void of emotion.

“Jake and I broke up- that’s why he moved desks. We broke up the night he got back from undercover.” Amy said sadly. She knew that there was no point in lying to Holt, for one she respected him too much and he would find out anyway. 

Amy paused for a moment, not wanting to explain why however she could tell that Holt was waiting for more of an explanation, not that he said or really showed that, but a few years under Holt’s leader/mentorship Amy had a pretty good read on Holt. She cleared her throat before continuing. 

“When Jake got back he found me with another man. That’s why we broke up- because I cheated on him. I never wanted to hurt him I-I was lonely.” Confessed Amy, her cheeks reddening in shame and tears threatening to fall. 

Holt stayed silent for a few moments, as if processing what Amy had just said. Amy looked down, not wanting to look at Holt- a person she always wanted to impress- she feared what he must think of her. 

“I can empathise with you with the loneliness you must have felt. I too have felt the same when Kevin visited Paris. However, I must admit Amy I am disappointed in you, you have acted unprofessionally brining your home life into the workplace- but more importantly you have clearly hurt Jake. From what I know of his undercover assignment it was not easy for him- far from it- on top of that he could have no contact with those he loved. Coming home would have been the only thing keeping him going and yet you cause him heartbreak as soon as he returns home. I cannot quite believe what you have told me. Truly I am disappointed in you Santiago.” Holt said, his face showing no emotion, but his tone was harsh.

“I understand sir. Please know I am so, so sorry for what I did I regret it more than anything.” Says Amy, her voice breaking as she is on the verge of tears. Holt didn’t respond for a few moments, Amy shifting uncomfortably under his gaze. 

“I hope you can make amends with Peralta, but with his past I am not sure that is possible- certainly not at the moment.” Holt added, making Amy feel worse.   
“You are dismissed Santiago.” Holt said before adding “I expect this not to interfere with your work.” He said sternly. 

Amy nodded, not trusting her voice before she hurried out of Holt’s office. She avoided everyone for the rest of the day, not that any of them wanted to talk to her. Neither Jake nor Gina returned that day, not that anyone could blame them. They just hoped Jake was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will probably be Jake and Gina (I love their friendship so much).
> 
> I fucking hate writing for Holt, I find it so difficult. 
> 
> Sorry, this took longer than I wanted it to. I started writing Christmas fics and got carried away with that so this got pushed aside. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading. xxx


	7. Chapter Seven

"Jake wait up." Gina called after Jake as she ran to catch him up. Jake considered just carrying on, really wanting to be alone, but he knew better where Gina was concerned. Jake spun around and waited for Gina to catch up to him. 

"Are you okay boo?" Gina asked comfortingly, a note of concern in his voice. 

"I don't know." Answered Jake truthfully. "I'm just so hurt Gina. I loved her so much, and she betrayed me and then when Rosa talks to her she comes to the conclusion that I must have cheated. I mean what the Hell did she say to Rosa? Did she think that if everyone thought I cheated they wouldn't believe the truth of what she did? I don't get why she would try to hurt me again." Jake ranted, close to tears- not that Amy was worth them according to Gina. 

"You know I hate Amy, but I don't think she would lie on purpose to Rosa, Rosa probably just jumped to conclusions. I imagine Amy didn't want to say anything because she's ashamed of what she did and she probably though you didn't want the whole squad to know." Reasoned Gina. 

"You're right Gina- I just don't know what to think anymore." Jake sighed as they continued to walk towards Gina's apartment.

"Of course I'm right boo, I'm Gina Linetti." Gina said making Jake chuckle softly.   
"Look Jake, this will get easier you know. In time you will move on, I know it sucks now but it'll be okay." Gina linked arms with Jake to offer him some comfort. 

"I wish the squad didn't know, I know that's my fault, I don't want the squad to think any different of Amy or to hate her because of me- because I told them." Jake said dejectedly. 

"Jakey none of this is your fault, Amy caused this not you. And yeah they may be pissed off with her for a bit, but they'll get over it like you will. They care about both of you." 'God what would I do with out Gina', Jake thought. (Literally that woman is a Saint, we all deserve a Gina Linetti). 

"Thank you Gina, for everything." Jake said. "Now let's go back to yours and get drunk." 

"Fine but you're paying for take out." Gina said choosing to completely ignore Jakes 'crippling debt'. 

When Amy left Holt's office she didn't dare to look up at anyone, afraid to see the looks they would be giving her. The whole squad were a family, and she'd hurt Jake really badly so she had no idea if they would forgive her. She hoped so because she couldn't bare to lose them as well as Jake. 

As the day ended everyone filed out leaving Amy last to leave- something done deliberately as to avoid any awkward elevator rides and because she couldn't face going back to her apartment, that seemed lifeless and empty without Jake. 

"Santiago, I see you're still here." Holt stated as he left his office. 

"I'm just leaving now Sir." Amy said, beginning to neatly put everything back in its correct place. It was a lie as she planned to stay longer- only choosing to leave then because she didn't want to have another incredibly awkward conversation with Holt. 

"I'd like to speak with you a moment before you leave Santiago." Holt said, dread washing over Amy as Holt spoke to her. 

"What is it Sir?" Amy asked cautiously as her nerves were clear. 

"I want to check that you are okay. I am well aware what you did was wrong and hurt Jacob, however, no-one in the squad considered how you must be feeling." Holt said with clear sincerity in his voice.

Amy hesitated a moment before answering, considering lying to her Captain, but she didn't see the point. 

"I'm struggling. Jake hates me, Gina can't bear the sight of me- I'm pretty sure none of the squad will talk to me again. I know it's my fault but it still really, really hurts." Sighed Amy sadly. 

"Everyone makes mistakes Amy, and in time those mistakes are forgiven. I assure you that, given time, both Peralta and the squad will forgive and move past this- providing that you can to. Forgiving yourself is just as important as forgiveness from those close." With that Holt went back into his office, leaving Amy feeling better than she has in days- because Holt was right- for a while the squad will hate her but they will forgive her. She's still not sure if Jake will though, and she hopes that he is okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while, for that I am sorry. I am also sorry for the poor quality of this chapter.
> 
> Hope y'all are doing okay and enjoyed this chapter xxx

**Author's Note:**

> Me- I'm going to go to sleep early tonight
> 
> Also me- writes this at midnight
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading xxx
> 
> P.S. let me know if you want me to write another chapter to this fic x
> 
> P.P.S. let me know if you have a better title because I could not think of a good one x


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